A gradual but inevitable descent into cricket-based loathing and bile.

So It’s Come To This: Things We Found On YouTube Part 3

Posted on October 31, 2014 by in Tests

 

Before we get into our third week of random YouTube stuff, we should probably take a moment to reflect on the title ‘Operation YewTube’, which would have been a much better moniker for the series. Alas, like Kevin Pietersen and his ‘I really want to play for England again’ shtick, it’s a bit late now. Plus we should probably try to steer clear of any hints that anyone at 51allout has ever been involved in the mistreatment of children.

Although now you mention it, Editor Steve's karaoke performance at the Christmas party does seem a bit odd now.

Although now you mention it, Editor Steve’s karaoke performance at the Christmas party did seem a bit odd.

Thanks to everyone who suggested videos last time (both of you). Shaun suggested this video of Mitchell Johnson taking about 200 wickets in the last Ashes series, which was about as much fun as shutting your fingers in a car door. Repeatedly. While being beaten around the head with a brick. Plus Brian suggested this, which only missed out on a small technicality, which is that didn’t actually have any cricket in it.

Flintoff or Botham: Who’s The Greatest?

A genuinely challenging WTG this week, with two of England’s top three all-rounders of all time, the other obviously being one Gavin Hamilton. But who is the greatest? Both had fine legacies on the pitch, which they immediately set about destroying through their media work as soon as they retired. Both could bat, bowl, catch and put away a beer or two off the pitch. But only one of them ever punched a copper, as far as we know. Does that swing it for you? We haven’t quite got the poll thingy working yet, but it’s probably just a month or so away now. So let us know in the comments section instead.

 

Amit Mishra Most Funniest RunOut in IPL History

Despite making quite a lot of effort to actually try and get involved in the first couple of years, we just can’t bring ourselves to actually like the IPL. If T20 is fast food cricket then the IPL is basically an annual repeat of Super Size Me, in which everyone gorges themselves on huge quantities of low quality cricket before eventually retreating to the doctor to get the bad news about their liver function. And this clip sums it up perfectly, right down to the grammatical disaster of the title.

It’s basically a bunch of people pissing about and wasting everyone’s time, like a nice friendly game of beach cricket in which everyone gets paid millions of dollars for occasionally putting their beer down to have a bat. Honestly, if you’re putting in as much effort as we do with this site, then you deserved to be paid in line with us (i.e. the square root of fuck all).

 

*Uncensored* Brett Lee nearly kills a batsman, in test cricket. Scary.

After last week’s sex-obsessed SICTT, as all the cool kids are calling it, we’ve moved on this week to that other guaranteed ratings winner: violence. Here’s Shiv Chanderpaul ducking into a Brett Lee short one back in 2008. The most remarkable thing about this incident is that Chanderpaul didn’t even retire hurt. Instead he had a quick nap on the pitch, brushed himself off, carried on batting and went on to complete his hundred. Remarkable stuff, especially given that nowadays the West Indies players can’t even be bothered to play, let alone risk their lives in the process.

 

WG Grace: The Grand Old Man Of Cricket

As an antidote to all that violence and IPL rubbishness, here’s a clip of WG Grace from literally ages ago. With his obvious enthusiasm for hitting the ball off the square, old William Gilbert could probably still do a better job opening the batting for England’s ODI side than the current shower. Although the fact that he’s dead might be something of an issue.

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