A gradual but inevitable descent into cricket-based loathing and bile.

“Steve Smith will, of course, shine, as he fails to play a single game” – The Great Ashes Predictions

Posted on September 4, 2013 by in Opinion, Tests

Such has been the hectic lifestyle for the casual cricket writer in the aftermath of all that Ashes jazz, that many things have slipped through our minds here at 51allout. There’s a funny smell coming from the mess in the kitchen, we’ve forgotten to put a note out for the milkman asking for twelve bottles of gin and the cat has gone missing. Perhaps that’s the cause of the stink.

Another thing that we’ve just not had time to do yet, due to the need to liveblog the second T20I, the efforts required to hunt out the prize we’d promised one of our faithful and to the few minutes spent hunting for Devereux The Cat, is to look back at the predictions that we made ahead of the Ashes.

Therefore, as we’ve a spare fifteen minutes waiting for the new work experience kid to get back from Oddbins, let’s roll.

Who is going to win the Ashes and why?

James was as blinkered as ever, Matt L was as naive as ever, but both Nichael and Matt H were sensible in their prediction. A surprisingly accurate start.

The Cricket Australia Public Relations Manager.

The Cricket Australia Public Relations Manager.

What are you most looking forward to in the series?

To Matt L’s disappointment Jackson Bird took just a few wickets in his only appearance, meaning that sub-editors had to take flight in a different direction with their headlines. Despite Matt H’s bold claim, Mitchell Starc failed to trouble most batsmen with the new ball (though first slips had to be on their toes) and the Hughes/Watson Run Out Dream Team failed to occur due to the unforeseen combination of Hughes being dropped and Watson forgetting the LBW law even existed, let alone knowing what its wording is. Meanwhile Ravi Bopara 100% did not get called-up and the only Australian providing high-quality* banter on twitter was Shane Warne!!!

So because none of us anticipated Ashton Agar’s debut innings, a trio of Ian Bell hundreds or Andrew Strauss serving a tennis ball direct into the grille of Nasser Hussain’s helmet, we feel small and duly humbled.

As small and humble as Shakira's breasts.

As small and humble as Shakira’s breasts.

What will the score be?

Although James was wide of the mark with 5-0, this was closer than Aussie Matt’s outlandish 2-2 prediction. With the weather robbing Matt H of his expected 3-1, it is Nichael who can call himself the tallest dwarf in the 51allout bunker with his entirely accurate 3-0.

Who will be the men of the series?

No-one said Ian Bell and no-one said Ryan Harris. But Matt H did at least mention the series’ leading wicket-taker (Graeme Swann).

So what have we learnt?

That predicting things is best left to the experts and to Indian bookmakers.

One of Warne's better tweets.

One of Warne’s better tweets.



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