A gradual but inevitable descent into cricket-based loathing and bile.

Bresilad Comes To The Rescue

Posted on December 3, 2013 by in Opinion, Tests


Whisper it quietly but we here at 51allout have a begrudging admiration for Yorkshire. The White Rose county is responsible for creating the world’s finest meat accompaniment, finishing 11th in the Olympic Games and accepting Geoffrey Boycott as one of their own. On the flip side they are still waiting on electricity and the locals have dubious ways of commemorating the death of former Prime Ministers. Not to mention that other local mischief maker who did all that charity work and ‘fixed’ little kids.

“And they’ll be dancing in the streets of Pontefract tonight….."

“And they’ll be dancing in the streets of Pontefract tonight…..”

Back to the positives and they bloody love their ‘creecket’, which is generally observed with a pint of Mild and four sweaters. In August. ‘Strong Yorkshire, Strong England’ so the saying goes and hopefully that remains true for the rest of this Ashes series. The Yorkshire contingent currently make up nearly 25% of the touring party and it’s not inconceivable that all of them could make the starting XI if Matt Prior breaks down again.

The addition of Tim Bresnan to the full touring party is this week’s least surprising news since Rachel Riley left her husband for somebody more famous. So, you know, keep retweeting and telling your friends about us, eh? Especially if they work in the media at Channel 4.

Meanwhile, her husband was at home, feeding the cats.

Meanwhile, her husband was at home feeding the cats.

Anyway, we digress. Bresnan is likely to be fast-tracked back in to the side for the Adelaide Test and it’s easy to see why. He ticks all the required boxes – team man, bowls dry, can get ‘a hint of reverse’, handy with the bat and has done it before in Australia. Plus he isn’t bowling 82mph long hops like these three shitgibbons.

It’s well known that England won in every one of Bresnan’s first 13 tests but an equally impressive stat is that they have only lost two of all the games he’s played, currently standing at 21. His averages are also equally credit worthy: 30 with the bat and 32 with the ball. Compare that to Broad (24 and 30), Flintoff (32 and 33) and Lewis (23 and 38) and it’s easy to see his value to the side. The only thing he lacks is that devastating spell for which Freddie and particularly Broad are well known.

His batting is also a big plus, especially given the recent efforts of the top order. He doesn’t always come off but an 8,9,10,11 of Bresnan, Broad, Swann and Anderson is as strong as anything around. If the top order can set the platform (and that’s an if the size of Bresnan’s gluteus maximus) then quick lower order runs are highly likely and just the thing that might turn the series in England’s direction.


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