A gradual but inevitable descent into cricket-based loathing and bile.

So It’s Come To This: Things We Found On YouTube Part 13

Posted on March 1, 2016 by in Opinion


It’s been a busy few weeks. Hence this site’s output dropping from ‘lackadaisical’ to ‘moribund’. Our main excuse for this is that we’ve been occupied trying to work out whether the new X-Files series is any good. Plus Australia have gone and nobbed the Kiwis, a result of which is us spending most of the day lying under the duvet sobbing. Nonetheless, at the urging of Editor Steve, we managed to find just enough time to surf YouTube and show you some of the results. Or at least those that are safe for work.

Whereas we'd have preferred to have said bollocks to the cricket and just had more of this sort of thing.

Whereas we’d have preferred to have said bollocks to the cricket and just had more of this sort of thing.

A Boring video about cricket. Is this title normal enough for you all bitches? FFS

Our first video this week – which deserves an award for the the title alone – serves to remind any teens reading this that in the 1990s, the England team featured Mike Watkinson. On the plus-side, he didn’t have a sleeve tattoo and didn’t go around punching lockers. On the other hand, as an international all-rounder, he was a county stalwart. Here he is about to face a ball from Kenny Benjamin.

Well, it certainly amused Richie, and goes to show that umpires have been unreliable since long before Richard Illingworth joined the elite panel.

Martin Tyler interviews Mike Atherton, August 19th 1990

Watkinson also features in the following, in which Michael “30 wickets” Atherton looks boyish and charmingly shy despite the red-hot interrogation by none other than Mr Martin ‘Premier League Aguerooooooo Super Sunday And It’s Live!’ Tyler. On the other hand, Watkinson’s interview seems to take place in the middle of a hurricane, which adds a little to what would otherwise be the most boring interview in the history of sport.

Phil Tufnell vs Joey Essex – The Jump

Obviously THE sporting story of recent weeks has been that contestants on the Channel 4 series ‘The Jump’ have spent more time in hospital than on the snow and ice. What we hadn’t realised is that an ex-cricketer had previously taken part on the show. So here is a clip, in which a language-mangling celebrity known for being a bit thick and who never turns down any reality show takes part in the Skeleton, competing against Joey Essex.

The fact that Phil Tufnell did not shit himself even a tiny little bit is truly remarkable.


Finally this week (or month, or year, depending on how the rest of the X-Files pans out), a clip of a Test cricketer we literally had never heard of before, which considering the long line of West Indian nobodies that we do know, is quite something. Anyway, Lincoln Roberts – one for our future XI of players named after American Presidents alongside Jackson Bird and Nixon McLean – copes with the bowling of Jason Gillespie and Glenn McGrath about as well as Tuffers coped with the ice. Or as well as we did with the ending of the X-Files.


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