A gradual but inevitable descent into cricket-based loathing and bile.

England vs. India, Fourth Test: Day Two Review

Posted on August 20, 2011 by in Tests

England 457/3 (Bell 181*, Pietersen 175) (123 overs)

Before we start:

The 51allout community can be generously described as ‘easy-going’. If you cook someone else will wash up. If you buy beers someone else will fetch them from the fridge for you. And if you spend the day watching the cricket then someone else will probably do the review for you, someone who spent the whole day watching The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin on DVD instead.

So we find ourselves in the awkward position of reviewing a day’s play of which not a single ball was seen. It’s not as if the notes we were left to work from are any help either: the only bit we could really decipher just says ‘M KHAN IS BENT’ in big letters. However, we didn’t get where we are today without making stuff up so we’ll just see if we can blag this one.

In a sentence:

Looks like Ian Bell batted for ages. Jimmy Anderson probably wants to work on his average so they let him have a go as well.

Player of the day:

It’s not massively clear, but it definitely looks like someone’s written Chris Woakes’s name a couple of times in the notes. He must have done something to deserve that, so he should probably be player of the day.

Chris Woakes playing cricket and whatnot

Moment of the day:

Apparently the bit when Andrew Hilditch got fired from his job at Argos. Seriously, would it have been that hard to type these notes up?

Outlook for tomorrow:

The 51allout petty cash to be raided to buy a typewriter. Someone else will probably do the review of the day.


Post a Comment


Ben Smith

20 Aug 2011 12:54

That’s basically exactly as it happened.


Geoffrey B

20 Aug 2011 10:01

What is this? In my day we’d have review put up in a newspaper that would be sold on the street. None of this click here, click there nonsense the youngster get up to today. It’s making them lazy I tell you. Not only that but the quality is so far down. Me grandma could write better reviews.


Matthew L

20 Aug 2011 09:46



Richard Shaw

20 Aug 2011 08:21




20 Aug 2011 03:13