A gradual but inevitable descent into cricket-based loathing and bile.

England vs. West Indies, First Pointless T20 International Review

Posted on September 24, 2011 by in T20

West Indies 125ao (19.4/20 overs) (Charles 36, Bopara 4/10, Patel 2/23)

England 128/0 (15.2/20 overs) (Hales 62*, Kieswetter 58*)


In a sentence:

The West Indies were humiliated, beaten by ten wickets with more than four overs to spare. England were also humiliated by having to spend their Friday evening playing against that shower, when they could have been in the pub.


Player of the day:

It’s pretty difficult to criticise anything that England did. There was one point when a Jos Buttler throw to the wicketkeeper was a bit wide. Oh, and Jade Dernbach bowled a rubbish full toss to Fidel Edwards. Other than that it was basically exemplary. We got (very) Good Kieswetter, both with the bat and behind the stumps, and a fine innings from Alex Hales. Ravi Bopara bowled a perfect line and length for the conditions and ended up with fine figures, while there were a couple of excellent run-outs for Stokes and Buttler. So we’ll give the award to Bopara, for all the difference it actually makes.


Some other things we were more interested in during the game:

  1. Is it possible to pick a team out of pairs of players with rhyming names? (Ben Stokes/Chris Woakes, that sort of thing)
  2. Why won’t episode four of the second series of The Rise And Fall Of Reginald Perrin play properly?
  3. Why can’t Alex Hales let Kieswetter outscore him so that we can win some money to spend in Greggs this weekend?
  4. Would it be wrong if we turned over to watch Celebrity Masterchef? We just love watching anything with Tim Lovejoy in it.
  5. Can the human mind imagine a worse noise than Puff Daddy’s version of Kashmir?

Would be turning in his grave were it not completely rammed full of money. Plus he's not dead yet.

Outlook for the next game:

The West Indies to use their cunning tactics of bowling no-balls and not taking wickets to get the game over with really quickly so that they can get back on the plane. Jos Buttler to get through his entire international career without ever having to actually put his pads on.


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