A gradual but inevitable descent into cricket-based loathing and bile.

The Commentators: Danny Morrison

Posted on April 10, 2013 by in Opinion, T20

On Sunday, we sat down in front of the telly with a plate of hash browns and a large cup of coffee, in the expectation of Pune finally winning a match.

(Confession time: this was the first ever IPL match that I watched in its entirety, due to various other commitments over the previous five years – actual proper work, cleaning the bathroom, watching Flog It!, listening to county cricket, vague principles and burning my fingernails off.)



The quality of the cricket, the ongoing struggles of the Pune Warriors and the other vagaries of the IPL were all noted, but there was one overriding conclusion above all others – and this probably is not revelatory news to many readers – that Danny Morrison is the worst fucking commentator in the history of everything.

It is stating the obvious to say that the IPL is full of hyperbole. But Danny Morrison makes Ravi Shastri sound like Whispering Bob Harris. He signals every run with his voice rising in pitch and in volume. God help the audience when the ball goes anywhere near the boundary (not something that happened very often in Pune’s innings) – the merest hint of four runs is to Danny what a Premier League winning goal is to Martin Tyler.

He utilises the same unusual rhythm when speaking as Nick Knight, placing emphasis on words that ought not to be stressed. Though in Morrison’s case, nearly every word is exaggerated or twisted with a gutteral howl. High rising terminals are commonplace in the Antipodes, but Morrison finds a way to scream the end of every sentence as if his kidneys have been attached to a car battery. His relentless stream of puke means that he never offers any insight into what is happening, never makes any effort to explain tactics or to analyse technique and always manages to make the actual magnificent seem somewhat banal. When a simple catch or a fairly standard boundary is greeted with hollering and adulation, praise for truly brilliant fielding just sounds trivial and flippant. It is entirely unbecoming and serves the game horribly.



In our irregular articles discussing the commentators, we usually look back at their playing careers (if they had one). But whilst we could talk about his fairly successful international career as a bowler, his number of ducks and his match-saving innings in his final Test, we can’t bring ourselves to. The man grabs the very worst characteristics of the IPL, mixes them up with horse shit, injects them into a host body, waits for them to breed, takes the mutant offspring and adds some more bull crap before swallowing this poisonous mixture and shitting it out as commentary.

It is a struggle to enjoy the IPL at the best of times; when this extravagant bollockbrain starts commentating, there is only one option and that involves sharpened knitting needles and both eardrums.


Post a Comment


mohammed khan

26 Jul 2014 20:09

Couldn’t agree more am watching cpl 2014 and am on verge of kicking tv in listening to Morrison scream at everything .what a wanker.



24 May 2014 19:08

Who employed this moron. Danny Morrison, can someone put a sock in his mouth and keep it there. What an irritating man!!!!!!!


Theo Roma

05 May 2014 11:28

I could not agree more about Danny Morrison. He is to me the most irritating voice on IPL. We can see what’s going on, we don’t need his ranting, what we do need is expert opinions.
Danny is a big turnoff for me.


danny morrison is an excited turnip

22 Apr 2014 10:55

Couldn’t agree more…his banal, uninspired shouting of what would be obvious to a blind, 6 year old baseball fan is dull, yet increasingly annoying at the best of times. At its infuriating worst, knitting needles seem to be the cheapest way forward. You’re right about it being hard enough to get into the IPL, especially without this pinhead shouting single syllable nonsense at you the whole time…if only he’d come up with a duck in his commentary career wouldn’t the cricket world would be much better off?


dark souljah

17 Mar 2014 21:07

ROFL.. this article is hilarious, well done.. excellent.. had me laughing for a while!

personally though, I only just recently came across Danny Morrison, and have to say I absolutely love him! when I first came across him, I was like ‘wo, where did this dude come from!)

So different and refreshing.. I hence looked him, and found that he is equally hated as loved.. classic case of marmite, love it or hate..

Anyway, in summary, love Danny’s commentary, but also loved this article for the quality and jokes!



14 May 2013 17:18

I love danny morrison. IPL is already funny enough, but he makes Danny makes giggle with every ball – exactly what is required for me to get the most out of the spectacle! Cricket is theatre and he is its finest exemplar.



13 Apr 2013 16:47

I just typed “is danny morrison the worst commentator ever” into google and this article ranked no. 1. My sides hurt from laughing. Thank you for showing me that i’m not alone in this.


Matt H

11 Apr 2013 17:48

Having an enjoyment of the game is one thing (and won’t all commentators enjoy the game to some extent, even dear old Bob Willis…), but Morrison is one of the few who actually make me angry when I hear them.



11 Apr 2013 10:52

Apparently he does divide opinion. His obvious enjoyment of the game is exactly what the IPL requires. It’s a spectacle, and even if he is nuts, it involves people. Anyone who thinks the IPL is for the cricket purist is going to struggle.



10 Apr 2013 17:10

“extravagant bollockbrain” is an excellent insult.
A few commentators are loved, while most divide opinion, but not this absolute cretin.