A gradual but inevitable descent into cricket-based loathing and bile.

So It’s Come To This: Things We Found On YouTube Part 2

Posted on October 23, 2014 by in Opinion


Our first attempt at a YouTube piece was, in the grand scheme of things, something of a success. We received a whopping two comments, plus the guy who does the Lords YouTube channel seemed quite chuffed with what we’d done. Although not chuffed enough to send us the contractually agreed upon six bottles of Kingfisher per video. We’ll just put that down to an admin issue – we didn’t even provide him with an address, which would make posting anything pretty damn difficult, even if it wasn’t inevitable that anything good that did get delivered would quickly be snaffled away by Editor Steve.

But persevere we shall, hence this week’s random selection of cricket videos that we found amusing. Or thought might at least get us some free booze for our hard earned thirst.

Victoria Bitter: back to its best, apparently. Other beers are available, i.e. ones that don't taste like petrol.

Although if you send us any of this, we will burn your favourite cricket ground down. Consider yourself warned.

Please continue to send in your favourite YouTube clips via the comments section and we’ll use them in next week’s article. Unless they are (a) three hours of Bob Woolmer wearing quite short shorts or (b) Dan Vettori talking about apples with sound quality reminiscent of the sampled speech that introduced Fantasy World Dizzy on the Spectrun.

Waugh or Ponting: Who’s The Greatest?

Last week’s WTG, as all the cool kids are calling it, put Kevin Pietersen head to head against Viv Richards in what we can politely describe as not one of the great battles. This week’s is loads better with Australia’s two most successful captains (probably – we haven’t looked that up) going head to head. But which is better? Well, assuming we exclude the bowling stats, which are once again rather lopsided, we reckon it’s too close to call. So we were planning to let you the reader decide, via the medium of our long-forgotten poll app thingy. But that doesn’t seem to work anymore. So just choose who you think the greatest is, write it in the comments and, er, maybe we’ll let you have one of our beers. If and when they turn up that is.


Lionel Messi Playing Cricket With Indian Boy

This is just plain weird. It’s an advert with absolutely no speaking – which already puts it one up on Ponting’s Royal Stag effort from last week – in which growth hormone powered footballing superstar Lionel Messi demonstrates that he’s also above the law in cricket, with a series of deliveries that even Saeed Ajmal would be embarrassed to try and get away with. Also, it all seems to happen in an empty stadium at night, which suggests that Messi and his mate have just broken in. And then at the end they drink something called Herbalife, which looks like Nesquik to us but is probably hardcore steroids or something equally dubious. Basically, the whole thing stinks of corruption.


Double Bounce Mouth Pong: Ellyse Perry: Perry Good Sports Challenge

This is basically as good as it sounds. It’s 51allout favourite Ellyse Perry trying to get table tennis balls into her mouth for some reason. Our only surprise is that Channel Nine didn’t make her do this for a full half hour when she was on the Cricket Show that time. Which is not to say that we approve of such misogyny, obviously. No siree.



Girl Imitating Sex At The Cricket

Speaking of which, here’s Yvonne Sampson (an off-duty Channel Nine presenter) spicing up the coverage of an otherwise utterly unremarkable domestic one day game with some gestures that you can probably interpret yourself.


[Editor’s Note: we promise that next week’s So It’s Come To This will be less obsessed with sex. This is what happens when we don’t get our Kingfisher]



Post a Comment



24 Oct 2014 16:16

Never mind his, ahem, action (still less bend than Marlon Samuels’ quicker ball) , Messi’s footwork makes Marcus Trescothick look like Mark “Strictly” Ramprakash.

In the middle of this is some much better footwork from Lionel – along with some quality bogan (though sadly not real) commentary:



Shane Donger

23 Oct 2014 23:29

War couldn’t even spell his own name. Poof. Obviously Punter.


Matt H

23 Oct 2014 19:18

Warning kids: it is easy to choke on table tennis balls. And other balls.


Matt Larnach

23 Oct 2014 14:49

Too close to call my arse. Tugga>>>>>>>>>>>>Punter



23 Oct 2014 14:07

Here, have a comment! 😀