Cluck, cluck, gibber, gibber, my old man’s a mushroom, et cetera.
Andrew Strauss is the newbie in the Sky Sports commentary team – whilst Ian Botham flushes his head down the pan, we’ve been observing how he does.
Phil Hughes has had a couple of nightmares recently – but are they his own fault?
Are Australia’s batsmen really all completely rubbish? Or have they just been distracted of late? We try and get to the bottom of the mystery, with no help at all from Tom Nook.
The second Test: sort of like watching a suicidal salmon take on a great white shark.
Australia haven’t lost six Tests in a row since 1984. Is this their moment?