We all dream of a scoring rate in excess of two runs an over.
With England being brilliant and wonderful and having no problems at all now Stuart Broad is definitely too injured to sneak his way back in, the fourth Test preview focuses almost entirely on their opponents.
England sleepwalked their way to a big first innings lead despite their batsmen intermittently running themselves out for no apparent reason.
In the space of little over a fortnight, England seem to have remembered how to play cricket and followed up their bottom-smacking of India in Mumbai with a strong start in Kolkata.
After 30 years of lulling everyone into a false sense of security, England finally showed their true colours by going ballistic on a rank turner and destroyed their hosts in Mumbai.
Alastair Cook proved himself a useless tosser before England battled back into the series in Mumbai.
The 51allout preview takes an unusual form this week, as we turn both barrels on England’s selection policy. Then we re-load those barrels and unleash them again.
England rose to the pressure of a tiny bit of expectation by collapsing in a heap before anyone had even finished their first gin of the day.
Alastair Cook, eventually supported by Matt Prior, made England’s last stand in Ahmedabad as a heroic rearguard action took the Test into its final day.
In perhaps the greatest sporting shock of modern times, England’s top order imploded in the face of some mild turn to virtually lose the game in the last hour.